Dear gay men stop telling women they cant gay bars

So tell us what you think! What arguments or arguments-against-arguments did we miss? The truth is that there are a lot of not-queer humans who attend queer bars with the understanding that the space is not for them, and they should defer to its intended clientele, and everything goes just fine.

I was underage and straight-identified a lot of the time, but they let me in! And who, exactly, is the space for? I deferred. Is it for all queers? The negative yelp reviews are revelatory in this instance , because the gender presentation policing and derision of masculine or fat women by those reviewers is pretty merciless.

There is just no fucking reason for guys to be there. A masculine-of-center friend told me that queer bars are the only place she feels like she can breathe easy. Just why?!!? Three are gay and three are straight and you all wanna go out together and have fun. But when I entered these spaces, my expectations of service were low.

But… With so many lesbian bars shutting down, how much can anybody say our community is valuing this one precious space? You could get really upset at these perceived intruders… or you could just hang out and have a good time. In ? I was a guest in their space. Do you go to the gay bar or the straight bar?

But… Would every lesbian at the lesbian bar have jostled for admission in ? Why bring more negativity into the world? If it is our collective oppression that enables us to feel comfortable excluding straight people, then we have to acknowledge the limits of that oppression.

I see it on my Facebook feed every couple of months: a gay man complaining about women in gay bars. Would the straight people happily attending our bars in have jostled for admission in ? Also, femme straight women could use a break from harassment, intimidation and unwanted sexual attention as well.

I think probably I would suggest that we all come back to my place, get stoned, play Scattergories and eat Pumpkin Spice Oreos. They go to Pride parades! Sometimes it's a complaint about annoying bachelorette parties who harass and tokenize. Which is why so much of this just comes down to respecting the space.

Why would you even want to go to a lesbian bar? But but… The lesbians who were brave enough to go to the lesbian bars in probably have a right to be annoyed by fair-weather friends. There was the declaration: “Dear gay men, stop telling women they can’t be in gay bars,” then the condescension: “I know this might surprise you, but in , women can go anywhere we want to!.

Personally, the first bars I ever went to were gay male bars. Dan Savage called it the piece "that launched a thousand posts on gay blogs": an op-ed titled "Dear Gay Men, Stop Telling Women They Can't Be in Gay Bars." There was indeed much outrage. When we talk about queer bars and parties we usually talk about bars and parties in large diverse cities like San Francisco and New York, but we forget that in rural or conservative areas of the country, a queer bar can actually be the only safe space available, period.

You seem to love me now, but did you love me when I was down and out did you still have love for me straight girl. But… Some people are actual assholes! On February 28, Out Magazine decided to share an article called “Dear Gay Men, Stop Telling Women They Can’t Be in Gay Bars.” Rose Dommu wrote her article in in response to several opinion pieces telling women to heave-ho, and Out shares the rebuttal regularly because it stirs up so much controversy.

We fought hard for these spaces — once the only places where we could be ourselves — only to have them invaded by outsiders as soon as the stigma and legal threat faded.