How can 2 gay men decide who the husband

People see that and are even more confused. Society dictates that a marriage must have a man and a woman, a husband and a wife, or one who is nurturing and one who is not. One of the questions we were asked, which we have been asked a lot by small kids, was:.

Carey Shoen. The wife taking her husband's name comes from a patriarchal tradition where women had less rights than men. One of the biggest reasons is that we as gay people are fighting to not be assigned a gender or a role all of the time in our relationships or in life.

By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. David and I were there to talk about our story and how we fell in love. Instead of being snarky, I responded hopefully this helped open minds :.

In LGBTQ organizations, we frequently ask people which pronoun they wish to use and how they want to identify. As New York gay and lesbian couples prepare to rush for marriage licenses, the city may be unprepared for gender questions. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

I grew up knowing that in most houses near me men and women followed traditional stereotypical gender roles. I raised my hand to stop them as I hugged my nephew Christopher and explained:. As I relayed this story, I realized that there are probably many reasons why someone would ask this question or think it but not dare ask it.

They want to put a clear label and see clear boundaries in a relationship. As I looked at the class, I related that the same question had been asked by my four-year-old nephew who had been the ring bearer in our wedding. In my own family, my dad works a job outside of the house and brings home the money while my mom who raised four kids does all of the cooking, cleaning, organizing, laundry, sewing, gardening, ironing, shopping, and other household chores.

It was clear that people in the class came from all walks of life and had many different levels of experience with gay people. The students were there to learn about gay relationships in a setting where they could ask questions without fear. ”. David poses with some of his nieces and nephews just before we were asked which one of us was the wife by our nephew.

Main Menu U. News U. Politics Congress Extremism. International U. Follow Us. Terms Privacy Policy. My older brother and his wife were so shocked that he asked it and then tried to apologize and cover it up. One of the questions we were asked, which we have been asked a lot by small kids, was: ” I understand that you are married, so which one of you is the husband and which one of you is the wife?

If you ditch that tradition the points to contemplate are the same for gay and straight couples. Gender roles in relationships are being challenged all the time, but many male couples still find themselves without clear direction or support. We were honored to be able to expose them to our life and to try to provide them with experiences and dialogue that will make these students better health care professionals when they graduate so that they can work alongside us to make our community safer and healthier for all individuals regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.

HuffPost Personal. What's Hot. Joseph Adrian. That was just one of the interesting questions that we were asked, but it was the one that affected us the most. NEW: Games. We were invited by the professor of the class who is on the board of the organization where I work. The students were there to learn about gay relationships in a setting where they could ask questions without fear.